Harley was shopping. Normal people people did things like this, and today, Harley decided she was going to be normal.
Yep. Normal. No problems. No anything.
Oh, look at this, a squeak toy. She squeezed it once, twice, dogs liked this kind of thing. You know, she could pull the squeak-a-matrix out of this and insert it in the plushie of Mistah J she had. Yeah, that would work.
She looked around and put it in her bag. People with no problems liked to shop lift.
Normal people also occasionally walked into other normal people. Paco rounded the corner and collided with an unexpected blond woman. "Ack! Sorry, my bad."
Harley's bag just spilled all over. Hundreds of little things from this store and just about every store around him went everywhere, "Hey! You made me spill my stuff!"
Her very stolen stuff.
Some of it very random. Kleptomania, the need to steal in order to fill a void in life.
"Sorry." Paco said, since 'my bad' apparently hadn't covered it. One thing for sure, this lady wasn't from nearby. Not with that accent. He crouched down to help clean up the mess of things on the floor. And wow, that was a lot of stuff. A lot of small, grab-able things.
Harley gathered up what she could and even threw a few more things from the shelf into the bag, "Well you should be! You know how rude it is to just go slammin' into people and make them spill their stuff?"
"I didn't mean to, I didn't see you there." Paco said, noting the extra things she grabbed off the shelves. She couldn't be that obvious...could she?
"Maybe you should get extra bags. It's going to take a real long time to empty all that stuff out and show recipts for the stuff you bought in other stores." Because he definitely knew that some of the stuff in that bag was from the store next door. And the one across the street. And the one two blocks over.
"Receipts? What Receipts? Oh those receipts? They're all in that store down the street, the one having the awesome sale on Belly Flops," because Harley couldn't live without her Jelly Beans in any way shape or form.
As she said that, she put a couple more things from the shelf in her bag, "Toodles!" She started to skip away.
If it were something like food, Paco probably could have been persuaded to look the other way. But the stuff in that bag was just stupid space-filler. She was being so obvious that it was clearly some sort of cry for help, anyway.
Also, this was still the Blue Beetle's town, even if he wasn't here at the moment. And Paco was the sidekick.
Oh boy, apparently Paco was the mature one in this conversation. That was never a good sign.
"Seriously ma'am, you don't want to do that." One more chance before he started talking about how shoplifting was wrong in a loud voice. "Just put everything back on the shelves and go get help, okay?"
"Want to do what? This?" She tossed a squeaky toy at him and then turned to run. With her bag full of stolen stuff. Harley wasn't about to do the right thing here.
"Stopping you from shoplifting is not repressing you!" Paco disagreed loudly. He really kind of wished he had a super hero uniform for this kind of thing. Funnily enough, people seemed more inclined to trust you when you were wearing armor, or your underwear on the outside of your tights.
He lunged and tried to tackle her 'round the ankles. Try to spill all of her stolen stuff everywhere again, but not hurt her too badly.
With ease, Harley cartwheeled out of that, using the force of the flip to kick right up at the kid, "Oh no! He's attacking me! Help! Help!" Hey, this place carried the giant pixie sticks.
Harley landed with a great deal of grace right in font of the giant pixie sticks. She picked them up with a delighted laugh and put them in her bag. She would have a great and sugary time later.
Okay, now this was just crazy. People had to be watching them at this point. Why weren't they helping? Or even not-helping? Paco shook his head, trying to clear the stars out of his eyes and staggered to his feet.
"No."
Brenda would never let him forget it if he got his ass kicked by a girl that wasn't her.
The thing about crazy people was most times, no body stopped to do anything. People feared the Crazy. Crane should do a study on it some day if he wasn't spending all his time stuffed with straw and creepy.
"Hmmm, let me think about that," Harley said stopping and just giving him a very intense look, "How about, no?" There's a trusty 'pop' gun in her hand. The amo was nothing more than flash and streamers but at close range? It would burn.
Okay, guns? Guns were bad. Even if there wasn't a bullet in there, there was that firework-thing crammed down the barrel. Crazy bouncy gringas with guns had not been on the menu.
"My solo adventure sucks." he heard himself say. "I want a refund."
Paco automatically ducked and covered his face and head with his arms, so while it definitely hurt -- ow ow OW owOW chinga tu madre, it did -- he wasn't about to get permanently blinded or horrible facial scarring.
Provided that he got the HELL out of dodge.
Which was the plan. Everyone who wasn't the stupid kid confronting the crazy person had run for it the moment the gun had made its appearance, so the only one who needed protection was the stupid kid who fancied himself a sidekick so that his best friend wouldn't have to do the hero thing alone.
All Ben was really looking for was a couple of things. Waller'd asked him to Texas here to look into something, which turned out to be nothing much at all.
So there he was with his stupid little grocery-store basket, trying to choose between the whole-wheat and the rye bread when he was plowed into by one of the other shoppers.
"HEY!" he said as he went down, the other guy went down, and Ben's basket went flying, spilling its contents everywhere.
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timeasmymeasure
Re: Clean Up! Aisle 3!
Date: 2008-01-17 03:04 am (UTC)Yep. Normal. No problems. No anything.
Oh, look at this, a squeak toy. She squeezed it once, twice, dogs liked this kind of thing. You know, she could pull the squeak-a-matrix out of this and insert it in the plushie of Mistah J she had. Yeah, that would work.
She looked around and put it in her bag. People with no problems liked to shop lift.
Harley had no problems.
Re: Clean Up! Aisle 3!
Date: 2008-01-17 03:29 am (UTC)Re: Clean Up! Aisle 3!
Date: 2008-01-17 03:39 am (UTC)Her very stolen stuff.
Some of it very random. Kleptomania, the need to steal in order to fill a void in life.
Or in one's living room.
Re: Clean Up! Aisle 3!
Date: 2008-01-17 03:51 am (UTC)The sneaky part of Paco's sat up and took notice.
Re: Clean Up! Aisle 3!
Date: 2008-01-17 03:56 am (UTC)Re: Clean Up! Aisle 3!
Date: 2008-01-17 04:04 am (UTC)"Maybe you should get extra bags. It's going to take a real long time to empty all that stuff out and show recipts for the stuff you bought in other stores." Because he definitely knew that some of the stuff in that bag was from the store next door. And the one across the street. And the one two blocks over.
Re: Clean Up! Aisle 3!
Date: 2008-01-17 04:10 am (UTC)As she said that, she put a couple more things from the shelf in her bag, "Toodles!" She started to skip away.
Re: Clean Up! Aisle 3!
Date: 2008-01-17 04:20 am (UTC)Also, this was still the Blue Beetle's town, even if he wasn't here at the moment. And Paco was the sidekick.
"Ma'am, I think you should put that stuff back."
Re: Clean Up! Aisle 3!
Date: 2008-01-17 04:45 am (UTC)Re: Clean Up! Aisle 3!
Date: 2008-01-17 04:57 am (UTC)"Seriously ma'am, you don't want to do that." One more chance before he started talking about how shoplifting was wrong in a loud voice. "Just put everything back on the shelves and go get help, okay?"
Re: Clean Up! Aisle 3!
Date: 2008-01-17 05:02 am (UTC)Re: Clean Up! Aisle 3!
Date: 2008-01-17 08:01 am (UTC)"Hey!" he shouted, batting the squeaky toy away from his face and chasing after her. "Shoplifting is wrong, lady!"
Yes, it sounded pretty stupid, but at least it let people know what was going on. Hopefully that would help his case.
Re: Clean Up! Aisle 3!
Date: 2008-01-17 01:06 pm (UTC)She was cute, the way she saw it, people should side with her.
Re: Clean Up! Aisle 3!
Date: 2008-01-18 02:41 am (UTC)He lunged and tried to tackle her 'round the ankles. Try to spill all of her stolen stuff everywhere again, but not hurt her too badly.
Re: Clean Up! Aisle 3!
Date: 2008-01-18 02:51 am (UTC)Score!
Re: Clean Up! Aisle 3!
Date: 2008-01-18 03:52 am (UTC)Note to self: blond woman is bouncy and kicks hard.
Second note to self: this is why the guy with armor fights crime, not the guy who drives the car.
Re: Clean Up! Aisle 3!
Date: 2008-01-18 04:05 am (UTC)"And now, I'm OFF like a prom dress!"
Re: Clean Up! Aisle 3!
Date: 2008-01-19 05:22 am (UTC)"No."
Brenda would never let him forget it if he got his ass kicked by a girl that wasn't her.
Re: Clean Up! Aisle 3!
Date: 2008-01-19 05:31 am (UTC)"Hmmm, let me think about that," Harley said stopping and just giving him a very intense look, "How about, no?" There's a trusty 'pop' gun in her hand. The amo was nothing more than flash and streamers but at close range? It would burn.
Re: Clean Up! Aisle 3!
Date: 2008-01-19 05:45 am (UTC)"My solo adventure sucks." he heard himself say. "I want a refund."
Re: Clean Up! Aisle 3!
Date: 2008-01-19 05:57 am (UTC)Re: Clean Up! Aisle 3!
Date: 2008-01-19 06:28 am (UTC)Provided that he got the HELL out of dodge.
Which was the plan. Everyone who wasn't the stupid kid confronting the crazy person had run for it the moment the gun had made its appearance, so the only one who needed protection was the stupid kid who fancied himself a sidekick so that his best friend wouldn't have to do the hero thing alone.
Paco bolted.
Re: Clean Up! Aisle 3!
Date: 2008-01-19 06:35 am (UTC)Re: Clean Up! Aisle 3!
Date: 2008-01-19 06:57 am (UTC)Paco ducked into one of the aisles, hoping it would provide some kind of cover.
Jaime was going to kill him. And then Jaime was going to let Brenda kill him.
Re: Clean Up! Aisle 3!
Date: 2008-01-19 07:02 am (UTC)So there he was with his stupid little grocery-store basket, trying to choose between the whole-wheat and the rye bread when he was plowed into by one of the other shoppers.
"HEY!" he said as he went down, the other guy went down, and Ben's basket went flying, spilling its contents everywhere.
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