toxicodendron_radicans: (Slash!)
[personal profile] toxicodendron_radicans
Moving this to private LJ so that it doesn't cutter an OOC post regarding another topic...

Can I ask a question while I'm here? Are you ever going to be happy here again? Even if everything moves in the direction you want it to? Honestly?

YES! A thousand and five times over and by great Athene - yes!

As far as the objections go - I wanted them discussed and out in the open because I was tired of everything either not settled while problems built up and - most importantly - to find a way for myself and other people to be able to trust the mod team again! Why would I be trying to put myself out here with a busted laptop, debate point after point, basically volunteer to be the group's punching bag for their lack of game frustrations, and volunteer to work on a team to help prop the game up when this gets solved if I didn't have this kind of faith things could get back to good?! No, better than good. Fan - bloody - tasic! (Thank you Sam)

We WANT to believe in this place again and who we play with again. That's the POINT of this. It's not to stick it to anyone. I'm really sick of that unspoken assumption. I'm also really ill of the assumption I or anyone else didn't try to work this out quietly first rather then just up and leave you all without trying to hash things out first.

Also, this whole, "needing to prove," that I have an obvious personality dispute still seems a bit much, but if it someone needs it, I've written that up and sent it to Andy via e-mail and posted to OOC at least one verified point. Regarding that, again, yes, her being a mod has been taken off the table for debate with my blessing. The question has been "well what's your deal with Rach?" Asked and answered. A personality dispute like this, I feel, should not make people feel forced to quit. To that end, some arbiter rules are being set down and a new mod is discussed.

::reads OOC::

And that post by Rach? I've really needed that for years so to keep that momentum.

Rach, any issues I have from the past are dropped as of this second. This is not to say I expect it on your end or that communication doesn't have the possibility of going pear shaped. Beyond the game thing I know this has really, really screwed our best friend (among others) which is why I want it solved just that badly in some way. I will work on it if you will in whatever terms you want to lay down. If it's "ignore," I understand, but I would like to know what I'm supposed to do regarding Nightstar and letting Oracle in on things through another party if need be.

I have faith in everyone here, including Rach, JR and anyone else. I have faith in here. I accept that faith not being returned.And yes, I'm hurt, tired, and angry, too and on that front I have failed and I am sorry. I accept what comes to my door as a result.

Now, I'm not a heavy drinker, but there is a cache of booze I've been saving for the moment if I decide to stay or it's just not worth it. I'm going to watch The Specials and get very drunk now.


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February 2014

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